4 5 Seconds of College

If you’re one of those people who says things like “we only have ______ more weeks of _____!” then I probably hate you. There’s no better way to scare the bejeezus out of someone than to remind them of how much time they don’t have. 200_s And the second semester of senior year is the time for subtle (or not so subtle) reminders of how little time we have left. I remember when I was a freshman and I was absolutely appalled when a senior didn’t have a job by March (the horror!). Flash forward three years…

Mom: “What does your schedule look like the month after you graduate? We’re trying to plan a beach trip.”

Me: “Hmm… let me check my calendar.”

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Underclassmen: don’t believe the lies. Senior year is not all sunshine and daisies. Although it’s probably too late for those of us who are basically 100 in college years (like dog years, only different), I’ve put together a Senior Year Survival Guide because nobody should have to suffer alone.

1. Prioritize. 

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Some things are important (sleep, food, couch-sitting, self-pity sessions) and other things are not so important. And remember: you and society probably won’t agree on what’s important. Just accept that and move on.

2. Value your friends.

And try not to hate on your friends who are already employed. They’re still probably really freaked out about the real world.

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For instance, if your roommate has had a really great job at Comcast since this summer (totally hypothetical example) and the rest of you are still very much job-searching and seriously considering that job where you drive the Nutter Butter bus around the country (again, hypothetical), maybe stop telling that roommate that she has no room to worry about life after graduation (seriously, Paulina… we love you).

3. Get really into sports (even if you hate sports).

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We go to an awesome school with some really awesome sports teams. Even when the sports teams aren’t that great, the video montages will always be on point. Celebrate the wins and cry for the losses and really celebrate the wins that were once losses (here’s looking at you, dook game on Saturday).

4. Stop saying things like “this might be the last time we _______.”

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Trust me, you’re just bumming everybody out. And chances are, that’s NOT your last trip to Sutton’s. Or the last time you watch TV with your roommates on the couch. Or the last time your friends are all together (because AIRPLANES).

5. Make multiple life plans.

For instance:

Plan A: Move to New York. Get a job as a junior account planner at an agency.

Plan B: Move to New York. Show up at the Buzzfeed office every day and beg them to give you a job.

Plan C: Move to Greenville. Live at home. Go for walks with your mom and passively look for a job while really just soaking in the wonderfulness of living at home.

Plan D: Go on the Bachelor. Don’t fall in love, but pretend to fall in love. Make America love you. Get kicked off in one of the final episodes. Be “heartbroken.” Return as the Bachelorette of the next season. Actually fall in love (maybe). Go on Dancing With the Stars. Pretend you’ve never danced before (lookin at you, Kellie Pickler) and totally destroy the competition. Live a life of luxury with your DWTS trophy because apparently just going on the Bachelor means you’ll be set for life. (Tbh this plan is looking like the best one so far…)

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Plan E: Grad school…….?

6. Learn how to label yourself.

And use it as your Twitter info. That’s what all the cool kids are doing.

Dreamer, doer, book-lover, explorer, inventor, writer, self-starter, hard-worker, prolific self-labeler.

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7. Play up your strengths.

Proficient in Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat, Excel (but just the spreadsheet making, not the formula stuff), Gmail, Google Search, Paint.

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Future employer: “Rick, come over here. This girl knows how to use Facebook!!!! We have to hire her!!”

8. Live it up. Because college is like Neverland.

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