Jamaican me want to write a book

While I was on Spring Break in Jamaica (a trip far too basic to mention past this point), I read two books. I know, I know — so college, right? I feel obliged to admit that the first book was Pretty Little Liars… and I read it on my iPhone.

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Before you throw your computer or phone out the window in disgust, allow me to (attempt to) explain myself. When I was on the plane to Montego Bay, the man in the seat beside me was very much asleep on my armrest. Since there’s nothing more awkward than waking up a sleeping stranger, I decided that getting up out of my seat to find my book was not the right move.

So I was left with a decision: try to sleep even though you’re unbelievably untired and just finished 2 cups of coffee, or find something to do on your phone. Phones are stupid without the internet, so I resorted to scrolling through the free iBooks I downloaded months ago. Most of the free books are classics, but who wants to read a classic on a plane? Planes are for Us Weekly and terrible movies. So I went with PLL… and I became addicted.

WHATEVER I WAS ON SPRING BREAK UGH STOP JUDGING.

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But anyway, that’s not the point of this story. The point is that, after devouring Pretty Little Liars in an unhealthy amount of time, I started to read the book I’d actually planned to read. Perhaps I even enjoyed it more because I set the bar pretty low.

The book, I Totally Meant to Do That, was written by Jane Borden, a friend-of-a-family-friend’s-cousin. It’s an introspective and hilarious take on life as a Southerner-turned-New-Yorker (I sure am hyphen-happy today). It’s basically the book I would write 10 years from now, because Jane Borden and I are the same person. (Except she uses semicolons, and I am morally opposed to them.)

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Jane is a Greensboro native and a former UNC Tri Delt. Change up a suffix and a few Greek letters and we’re a perfect match. She’s also written for SNL, so I’m hoping that the similarities between our lives keep coming. If you don’t believe me, the back cover features a quote by Amy Poehler… so yeah, she’s pretty legit.

“The classic story of Country Club mouse meets City mouse, a sweet reminder of what it feels like to be new in New York.”
—Amy Poehler

You should all read the book, and not just because Amy Poehler said so. It’s the perfect mix of nostalgia, humor, and quirk. While I was reading, I kept thinking, “I couldn’t have said that better myself.” And as you may have noticed, I think I’m pretty funny… so that’s saying something.

If you’re a Southerner, New Yorker, or human who likes to laugh, I Totally Meant to Do That is a must-read.

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