As many of you know, my claim to fame is that I’ve had quite a few brushes with fame. Some might say it’s creepy, but I see my celeb-spotting abilities as my true talent. Forget advertising, I would be a world-class paparazzo (which is apparently the singular form of paparazzi).
So anyway, to avoid writing a separate blog post for each of my many celebrity encounters, I have decided to provide a Buzzfeed-style ranking of the celebrities I’ve seen out and about. Fast-forward to the end to find out how YOU can be a celebrity spotter just like me!
8. Julia Stiles
To put it in my mother’s words, Julia Stiles was an “itch bay.” I can’t think of a better way to describe her (well, no better way to describe her if I want to keep this blog PG).
Me: Hi Julia, I just wanted to say that I’m a huge fan.
I could go on for hours about my newfound hatred of Julia Stiles (who, by the way, is a terrible actress), but I will take the high road and just leave it at that.
9. Susan Sarandon
Susan Sarandon is a really cool lady, but she has a low spot on the list because I didn’t actually speak to her. And because I couldn’t figure out who she was for like 10 minutes.
8. Extra from Gossip Girl
She’s not exactly a celebrity, but I have to give myself props for the spot. If anyone is interested in stalking her, she’s a hostess at The Smith. And I assume that she appreciates when you sign your receipt with xoxo.
7. Nolan Gerard Funk
Nolan Gerard Funk is a very low-level celebrity, but he is very much on my radar. He was in Glee, Awkward, AND my favorite Nickelodeon original movie, Spectacular. He’s also a pretty good photographer, as we found out when Carson asked him to take a picture of us.
Carson: Excuse me, will you take a picture of us?
NGF: Um… sure?
Me: WERE YOU IN GLEE?
6. Joel McHale
That was a pretty cool sighting. Unfortunately, Joel didn’t look like he was in a chatty mood (does he ever?). And also my mom loudly whispered “PARKS AND REC?” when he walked by. Maybe next time, Winger.
5. Carson Daly
So I didn’t technically meet Carson…but whatever, I’m counting it. It’s not every day that Carson Daly reads your tweet on the Today Show, but it is every day that you can brag about Carson Daly reading your tweet on the Today Show.
4. Billy Eichner
Stay tuned to find out if I appear on Billy on the Street.
Me on the phone with my mom: Oh my gosh! It’s Billy on the Street! [to Billy] Hi Billy!
Billy: HELLO! [continues running down the street with his camera crew]
3. Penn Badgley
Spotted: Lonely Boy riding the L train.
Honestly, this was an amazing encounter. Not only did we spot Dan Humphreys himself on the subway right after watching Season 1 Episode 1 of Gossip Girl, but we saw Dan Humphreys on the subway COMING FROM BROOKLYN. WEARING A BACKPACK and JORTS.
Like I’m sorry… could you BE any more type cast, Penn????
Anyway, this one would be MUCH higher on the list, but Lonely Boy doesn’t take pictures with fans.
Shannon: Um… excuse me… we’re huge fans and we were wondering if we could take a picture with you?
Penn: Yeah… I don’t really take pictures with fans anymore, but I’ll shake your hands. [shakes hands]
Me: Charlotte just watched her first episode of Gossip Girl ever this morning!
Penn: Oh god. STOP NOW.
Why so humble, Lonely Boy?
2. Matt McAndrew
Nicest. Guy. Ever. Sweet Matt came out before his concert to chat with fans, thank us for coming, and take pictures. I got a great pic and had an actual real-life conversation with him about the tour and how crazy his life has gotten since auditioning for The Voice. Also I’m pretty sure his shirt had Harry Potter lightning bolts on it.
1. Matthew Gray Gubler
Apparently I have a thing for tall, gangly nerds. I love Matthew Gray Gubler almost as much as I dislike Julia Stiles. Read all about it here.
I’m sure by now you’re wondering how I’m so lucky/talented/creepy. Well, it’s very likely that I am a super recognizer, so you have no hope of ever being like me. But here you go:
Tips For Spotting Famous People:
- Remain vigilant. Everyone you see could be famous in his or her own right.
- Don’t be afraid to be creepy. A lil stalking never hurt anyone.
- Keep your IMDB app in an accessible location. Don’t have the IMDB app? That’s on you.
- Always have your phone out and ready. Photo opportunities are all around.
- Celebrities are vain, so compliment them. Unless it’s Julia Stiles, in which case you should avoid her like the plague.
- Watch a lot of Netflix. How are you supposed to recognize the random extra that was in Friends that one time if you aren’t diligently watching Friends every day?
- Perfect the art of walking at a running pace. But don’t run because that’s too much.