Differences between Chapel Hill and New York

As you probably could have guessed, New York City and Chapel Hill are pretty different places.

1. Dad bods aren’t a thing in New York (PTL)

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2. Want to hate yourself in a crowded room full of sweaty drunk people? That’ll be $50 in New York. In Chapel Hill, the dke basement is FO FREE

3. A beer in New York is $8 (if you’re lucky). A beer at Bob’s is $3… so like drinks on me at homecoming, y’all

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4. It takes less than 15 minutes to get anywhere you want to go in Chapel Hill (unless you take science classes, but that’s on you). In New York, it takes me about 15 minutes to get out of my apartment complex

5. You will never be kicked off the elliptical after exactly 30 minutes in New York

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6. Carolina fans actually watch football games in New York

7. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of Nike shorts in New York. I wore them to class every day in Chapel Hill

8. When you work out in Chapel Hill, you can wear a size XL Blue Moon t-shirt. When you work out in New York, not only do you have to pay $35 to sweat but you also have to look flawless while doing it

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9. The hottest celeb I saw in Chapel Hill was Aaron Carter. In New York, I’ve seen Penn Badgley/Dan Humphrey ON TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS

10. A Tru-caliber sandwich costs like $15 in New York

11. Everything you could possibly want is available for delivery in New York… if you’re willing to pay a premium or wait 290 minutes. In Chapel Hill, pretty much all you can get delivered is Insomnia (and we have that here too)

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12. In Chapel Hill, it is acceptable to wear summer clothes when it’s cold outside. In New York, it’s acceptable to wear winter clothes when it’s hot outside

13. Places that serve hummus don’t also serve delicious frozen yogurt in New York (“On another note, you can get sushi at Walgreens… so like who even is Shiki??” -Kate)

14. The pope is currently in New York. The pope never once went to Chapel Hill while I was there

15. Queso does not exist in New York especially since the Moe’s by our apartment just shut down (Kate on the queso issue: “It’s a REAL problem. I have almost ridden the train an hour to Hoboken on average 5 times to get Qdoba”)

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16. Guys in New York wear tailored suits and lemme tell ya, it WORKS

17. Splitting checks is annoying but it is even more annoying in New York when your side of bacon costs 8 freaking dollars

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18. People still wear bandage skirts in New York sometimes

19. I don’t get carded in New York (probably because I’m so adult and mature-looking) but I’m willing to bet that Collin will ask me my address, birthdate, and great-grandfather’s dog’s name if I ever try to go to a bar in Chapel Hill

20. A lot of people don’t eat carbs during the week in New York. Like what even is that

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And because I would be nothing without my fellow New York transplants, I decided to consult the peanut gallery:

21. “Don’t worry about having to clean up after a pregame because it is impossible to have all of your friends over because you actually live in a 5×5 box and it would be impossible to fit them all/get a good angle for a group pic without someone literally standing on the kitchen counter” -Kate

22. “You can get away with a walk of shame because people don’t know you on the street” – Carson (and also because a lot of people choose to wear Spandex dresses and stilettos on Sundays JUST BECAUSE)

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23. “You thought you were likely to be hit by a bike walking through the quad in CH? Try crossing the bike lane that is present on every single street and avoiding getting hit by cabs going approximately 40 miles over the speed limit. Believe me there isn’t an ounce of southern charm when people literally scream ‘MOVE BEFORE I *@$%!& RUN YOU DOWN'” -Kate

24. “Don’t even worry about planning out an outfit because as soon as you step outside your door you will see at least 5 people that look cooler and better dressed than you” -Kate

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25. “NYC’s bagel shops put Alpine to shame” -Carson

26. “You don’t have to worry about maintaining a clean room or hanging things up in your closet because there is a 99% chance you a) don’t have a closet or b) your closet doubles as a broom closet and is located at the other side of your apartment” -Kate *

*I feel obliged to mention here that Kate has never once worried about maintaining a clean room or hanging things up so I think this one is hypothetical

27. “If you thought Warehouse was ridiculously priced, try finding an apartment in New York for less than 1600 a month” -Emily

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28. “If you pass out before your pizza/sandwich is delivered, IT’S OKAY! You will not be blacklisted from Bskis/Papa John’s and there are 45 other delivery options within a .2 mile radius” -Kate

29. “Work appropriate clothing is not a thing. And people like to shave half of their head in the name of fashion” -Emily

30. “You may be paying exactly 3 times what your rent in CH was for a room that is less than half the size but you can get 2 slices of pizza for $1 and be fairly confident that you won’t get salmonella!!!!!!” -Kate

31. “If you want to go to the movies you better be SURE the movie got at least a 65% on Rotten Tomatoes because you’re about to drop $40 on the experience. Unless of course you aren’t going to get popcorn because you’re one of those people that like doesn’t eat carbs… in which case I don’t want to be at the movies with you anyway” -Kate

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32. And last but not least, Chapel Hill doesn’t have any rats carrying pizza down the subway:

“I feel such kinship with that rat. GETTING YOUR LEFTOVER PIZZA HOME SAFELY IS A STRUGGLE EVEN FOR THOSE WITH HANDS” – Kate

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2 thoughts on “Differences between Chapel Hill and New York

  1. Debbie Edwards says:

    I feel the need to come and visit to make sure that these comparisons are all correct and factual! I will speak with your mother! xo

    Like

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